Issue 1.2 May 2003

To view an article, scroll down the page, or click below:

Newsletter Articles:
Chris Durning Interview
Cyrano de Bergerac
Matrix Reloaded Review

Vitalis Newspaper
Issue 3:

AHL vs. Junior Hockey
Canadian Idol
Coffee House
Decriminalizing Weed
Dumb Warnings
Grad Advice
Hockey Fever
Sport of Juggling
Kiss and Tell
Music for the 21st Century
Pop Stars?
Save the World
Puppy Mills
Homer vs. Peter
When Should School Begin?
Ashamed of Colour?
Student Artwork

Vitalis Newspaper
Issue 2:

Age Discrimination
Bathroom Graffiti
Cell phones
Got Milk?
Internet Safety
The Mad Dash
Mass Media Monster
My World
Nature vs. Nurture
I Never Believed in Miracles
Proud to be a Hound
Public Transportation
Picking on Saint John
Roses, Rubbers & Rainbows
Secret, Underlying Concern
Summer Crossword
War in Iraq
Whose is it now?

E-mail Newsletter
Newsletter Editor:
Paul Saulnier

Vitalis Editors:
Julia Wright
Jessica Vihvelin


This newsletter is a compilation of various news articles written by students of Saint John High School. Any student is free to submit an article for inclusion in the newsletter.

If you're interested in writing for this newsletter, please send an email to

Dumb Warnings: The Result of Many Pointless Lawsuits
by Alex Saunders
Note all of these warnings are REAL for more dumb warnings go to

How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby.
- Anonymous Manufacturer

Air conditioner
Caution: Avoid dropping Air conditioners out of windows

Vacuum Cleaner
1.) Do not use to pickup gasoline or any flammable liquids.
2.) Do not use to pickup anything that is currently burning.

American Airlines Peanuts
Instructions: Open packet. Eat nuts.

Swanson TV Dinners
This product must be cooked before eating.

Hair Colouring Product
Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping.

Instructions: Tear open and use.

These earplugs are non-toxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe.

Warning: do not attempt to swallow.

Zippo Lighter
Warning: do not ignite lighter in face.

Korean Kitchen Knife
Keep out of children

Diving Board
Divers must land in water!

Fender Guitar
Made in America. Parts from Japan. Assembled in Mexico.

Ansell Condoms
Do not return used condoms to the manufacturer through the mail.

7-UP bottle
Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening.

Unknown European Camera
This camera will only work when film is inside.

Japanese GameCube Instruction Manual
Do not attempt to stick head inside deck, which may result in injury.

Unknown Toilet Plunger
Caution: do not use near power lines.

Sobeys Pizza
(Printed on bottom of box) do not turn upside down.

Interstate 10, Near Phoenix, AZ
State prison: warning, do not pick up hitchhikers.