Issue 1.2 May 2003

Index
To view an article, scroll down the page, or click below:


Newsletter Articles:
Chris Durning Interview
Cyrano de Bergerac
Matrix Reloaded Review

Vitalis Newspaper
Issue 3:

AHL vs. Junior Hockey
Canadian Idol
Coffee House
Decriminalizing Weed
Dumb Warnings
Grad Advice
Hockey Fever
Sport of Juggling
Kiss and Tell
Marks
Music for the 21st Century
Musical
Pop Stars?
Save the World
Puppy Mills
Homer vs. Peter
When Should School Begin?
Ashamed of Colour?
Wintersleep
Student Artwork

Vitalis Newspaper
Issue 2:

Age Discrimination
Bathroom Graffiti
Cell phones
Cheerleading
Got Milk?
Horoscopes
Internet Safety
The Mad Dash
Mass Media Monster
My World
Nature vs. Nurture
I Never Believed in Miracles
Proud to be a Hound
Public Transportation
Picking on Saint John
Roses, Rubbers & Rainbows
Rugby
Secret, Underlying Concern
Summer Crossword
Vegetarians
War in Iraq
Whose is it now?

E-mail Newsletter
Newsletter Editor:
Paul Saulnier

Vitalis Editors:
Julia Wright
Jessica Vihvelin

E-mail: newsletter@sjhigh.ca

This newsletter is a compilation of various news articles written by students of Saint John High School. Any student is free to submit an article for inclusion in the newsletter.

If you're interested in writing for this newsletter, please send an email to newsletter@sjhigh.ca.

Homer vs. Peter
by Wayne Macaulay
Everyone knows that Homer J Simpson is the fat, oaf main character in the long running cartoon television series, The Simpsons. Well if you’re a fan of his then maybe you are unaware of another main character in a cartoon series who is very similar his name is Peter Griffin of the former Fox series The Family Guy.

Both characters are middle aged overweight American citizens with a wife and three children. Homer resides on Evergreen terrace in Springfield, in an unspecified State. Peter lives on Spooner Street in Quahog Rhode Island.

Homer, his wife Marge, his son Bart, daughter Lisa, baby girl Maggie along with the family dog Santa’s Little Helper and cat Snowball 2 can be seen just about any time of day on one of many channels, while reruns of The Family Guy, featuring Peter, his wife Lois, son Chris, daughter Meg, baby boy Stewie who can talk and the pet dog Brian who can also talk, can be seen weeknights at 10 on Teletoon.

Both characters enjoy drinking and giving hilariously stupid parental advice to their children. Homer is the safety inspector of section 7G at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, while Peter is the Product Safety Inspector at the “Happy Go Lucky Toy Company,” although neither of them works very hard to keep or to get his job, they both stand by the fact that anybody can achieve a good job in America.

Homer has a unique look at life and shares this with his children and friends on several occasions. Here are a few parental advice quotes from Homer Simpson:

“Kids you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson here is never try”

“Son, when you participate in sporting events it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how drunk you get!”

“If something is to hard to do then it’s not worth doing!” and ”Now matter how good you are at something there are always about a million people better then you!”

Homer, who just seems to be lazy, does not seem to have the lack of knowledge that we see in Peter. Here are some things Peter Griffin has said:

“You better watch who you’re calling a child Lois, because if I’m a child then that makes you a pedophile and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna stand here and be lectured by a pervert!”

“Make like Siamese twins and split, and then one of you die!”

Lois: “Peter are you drunk?” Peter: “No Lois I’m just tired because I’ve been up all night drinking!”

“Three days, that’s tomorrow!”.

Peter, unlike Homer is very sexist towards women. We see this in:

“I know you’re a feminist and I think that’s adorable but it’s grown up time and I’m the man!”

Lois: “Typical male fantasy women drinking beer, I guarantee you a man made that commercial!” Peter: “Of course a man made it, Lois, it’s a commercial not a delicious Thanksgiving Dinner.”

Homer has probably offended many people as well over the years with his speeches on religion and alcohol.

“But Marge what if we’ve chosen the wrong religion? Each week we’re only making God madder and madder!”

“Beer now there’s a temporary solution!”, and “To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems!”. Although they seem to be lacking common sense and intelligence and probably do offend some people they are meant only to provide us with family problems or situations and deal with them in a hilarious and entertaining way which they have accomplished quite well.